$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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