When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
