Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
