My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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