I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
