One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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