I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
