I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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