Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
