I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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