Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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