Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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