I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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