Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
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My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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