Betty ford says i'm here all night
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Edward fifth and chaser hands
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
