I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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