yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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