I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
