after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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