I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
