I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
PANTIES FOUND
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
