Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
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Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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