I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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