If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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