who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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