We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
