so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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