He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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