I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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