...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This is my gift to your gina
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize