Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
