it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
