Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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