tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
