I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Floor bacon is actually really good
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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