How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Can Purell be used as lube?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
