I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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