But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
