doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
