I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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