my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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