dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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