Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i drank out of a bidet.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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