I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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