I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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