She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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