Whod you bang
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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