just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
