apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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