Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
