Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.

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(805): View more from California

we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard

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(419): View more from Ohio

I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?

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(708): View more from Illinois

Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.

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(813): View more from Florida

Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.

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