his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
