Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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