Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  im getting my college education on yahoo answers.

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  (718): im getting my college education on yahoo answers. http://tfl.nu/sx90
  Replies (23) Good night (5319) Bad night (760)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness

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  (856): you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness http://tfl.nu/oa7w
  Replies (11) Good night (3470) Bad night (880)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?

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  (612): Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife? http://tfl.nu/rjpj
  Replies (34) Good night (2103) Bad night (8393)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.

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  (360): He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured. http://tfl.nu/js6x
  Replies (63) Good night (5675) Bad night (1047)
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  (559): View more from California

  Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.

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  (559): Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face. http://tfl.nu/m55d
  Replies (14) Good night (3203) Bad night (1579)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...

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  (970): Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it... http://tfl.nu/w07g
  Replies (20) Good night (3261) Bad night (1303)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?

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  (678): Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting? http://tfl.nu/j29m
  Replies (11) Good night (2358) Bad night (634)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.

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  (954): I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate. http://tfl.nu/yurv
  Replies (9) Good night (3810) Bad night (763)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night

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  (352): Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night http://tfl.nu/ez8j
  Replies (15) Good night (710) Bad night (1223)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.

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  (435): If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/35sp
  Replies (11) Good night (2172) Bad night (810)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.

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  (727): Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking. http://tfl.nu/0sjy
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (428)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.

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  (613): Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in. http://tfl.nu/gv1u
  Replies (3) Good night (1016) Bad night (398)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on

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  (905): So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on http://tfl.nu/azx1
  Replies (2) Good night (349) Bad night (1008)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.

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  (585): I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis. http://tfl.nu/v0yv
  Replies (1) Good night (349) Bad night (526)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!

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  (407): After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday! http://tfl.nu/hf0z
  Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (260)

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