Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords

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  (734): she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords http://tfl.nu/o43m
  Replies (2) Good night (1418) Bad night (634)
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  (760): View more from California

  Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.

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  (760): Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing. http://tfl.nu/culr
  Replies (29) Good night (854) Bad night (6179)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

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  (508): I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day http://tfl.nu/qyf0
  Replies (30) Good night (3909) Bad night (1059)
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  (619): View more from California

  well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen

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  (619): well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen http://tfl.nu/rvwe
  Replies (42) Good night (1100) Bad night (5363)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night

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  (817): He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night http://tfl.nu/fv27
  Replies (25) Good night (934) Bad night (7311)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?

  (1-308): View more from Nebraska

  i hate being the asshole.

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  (308): Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass? (1-308): i hate being the asshole. http://tfl.nu/40d3
  Replies (5) Good night (1156) Bad night (2656)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.

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  (859): I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there. http://tfl.nu/fp94
  Replies (6) Good night (2121) Bad night (754)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do

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  (315): I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do http://tfl.nu/m83n
  Replies (30) Good night (3489) Bad night (1701)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage

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  (303): The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage http://tfl.nu/rn3i
  Replies (8) Good night (2425) Bad night (987)
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  (310): View more from California

  I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'

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  (310): I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly' http://tfl.nu/92zu
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (365)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"

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  (705): you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before" http://tfl.nu/z6i7
  Replies (2) Good night (906) Bad night (335)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.

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  (516): Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN. http://tfl.nu/0bkl
  Replies (11) Good night (1404) Bad night (376)
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  (323): View more from California

  My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese

  (818): View more from California

  They know nothing, John Stoned.

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  (323): My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese (818): They know nothing, John Stoned. http://tfl.nu/apa6
  Replies (2) Good night (847) Bad night (255)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.

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  (313): Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club. http://tfl.nu/xqxw
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (234)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.

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  (250): I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/pg6b
  Replies (3) Good night (234) Bad night (481)

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