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• (713): View more from Texas

  wait, did i just see you litter out your window??

  (281): View more from Texas

  umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  my being single is dangerous.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (361): View more from Texas

  I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"

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• (707): View more from California

  Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.

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