Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
