yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize