Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
