I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
