It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
