how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
