After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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