I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
