I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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