I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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