She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We are all done wearing pants today
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
